Last week I watched Spider-Man.... TWO! Gawd... what came over me. Watching Spider-Man 2, after having endured the first one two freaking times!
Well, I'm a sucker for movies in the hall, and this one too was in the hall. And I'm dead sorry for that! 7400 Wons (~Rs 296) down the drain.
I'm not going to give you any warning about spoilers, cuz the movie aint got no story at all. Any kid would've guessed the story even before those buggers thought of making a sequel! And this movie is not about a
story - it's about getting the kids to the theater and clapping in glee every time Spider-Man saves the world... and it's idiots like me who getted pulled along!
What's it about? The usual... another experiment which would change the face of humanity gets out of hand, another mad scientist ends up becoming the new monster villain. Doctavious (I think) - that's what they called this one. He's got four HUGE arms with super-duper-extra-hollywood-style aritfical intelligence, attached right to his spine. And these arms are mean. They can think, and they can scheme monstrous plans to destroy the world.... Muahahahaha - you didnt see
that coming, now did you?
During a demonstration of a controlled nuclear fusion reaction one smart ass reporter asks - "Sir, if these arms have such advanced AI capabilities what's stopping them from controlling you?" Smart one lady. I'm sure you were a guest artist on the sets! That's where the "Inhibitor Chip" comes in. A blue LED attached to the arms which stops them from controlling Doctavious.
If you cant guess what happens next... well, go audition for a Hollywood or something!
Scriptwriter #1: Hey dude! It's just like the last movie. A new Sci-fi monster which Spidey's gotta cream.
Scriptwriter #2: Yeah, you're right man! The boss wont pay us nothin' for this shit!
Scriptwriter #1: What should we do now?
Scriptwriter #2: Hmmm... let me think.... how about throwing a love-angle to this story. Spidey want Mary Jane but cant get her cuz he's got to save the world. So he STOPS saving the world to get the love of his life!
Scriptwriter #1: Yeah dude! That's fucking awesome. And then he starts losing his powers cuz he ain't got no love in his life. Y'know love is the greatest power and shit!
Scriptwriter #2: Yeah man! And then we can throw in a big lecture by his Aunt which we can recycle at the very end of the movie along with all the other dialogues just before the climax. That's like so cool!
Scriptwriter #1: Yeah! And then Doctavious kidnaps Mary Jane just when she's about to kiss Parker to find out whether he's Spidey. You know - like kiss and tell. And that way we can put in links to Spidey Part One as well.
Scriptwriter #2: And you know man! Kirsten's got great tits. We'll make sure she doesnt wear a bra in that scene so we can see her nipples right till the end of the movie man!
Scriptwriter #1: Yeah! And then Spidey will get all fired up and all, and gets his Super Spider(tm) power back and beats the shit outta Doctavious.
Scriptwriter #2: And yeah, just to make sure that people know they're watching a sequel we'll put in the revenge shit too. Like Osbourne wants to avenge his father's death and makes a deal with Doctavious. Give me Spidey for one big ass ball of Titanium to destroy the world! How cool is that?
Scriptwriter #1: Man! We ROCK! Wanna pull another joint?
You still want to watch it?!
