Encounters with the RSS: The Social Organization Episode

[This is the first part of my series of posts which started off due to this.]

Talk about RSS feeding communal rot to the masses and blame them for propogating their shitty Hindutva agenda and this is what will ensue:

The RSS is a Social Organization
RSS: How can you even say such things about the RSS? You have no right to comment about the RSS if you dont know what it does?
You: Okay, so what is it that you guys do?
RSS: The RSS is a social organization. We do N number of things - lot many things.
You: Like?
RSS: Like, we were the ones to reach Bhuj first and start the relief camps and that too on our own money. And then the relief during the recent Bihar floods...
You: Oh great! Kudos to RSS. You guys are the real heroes.
RSS: Yes, that's what. But the media never reports these good deeds of ours. They simply want to malign RSS.
You: So why dont you tell people about what you do - why dont you start your own publicity and let people know that you are nice people and not bigots that you are made out to be.
RSS: But that would be like pushing your own agenda. We dont want to do that. We want to work silently - without the fanfare - so that people dont join us for name an glamour.

[Okay, you might just want to hit him with - "So, isn't ranting and raving about Hindutva, pushing your own propaganda?" But wait, not yet! We'll come to that]

You: Oh! That's really noble of you. So, why is the Ayodhya temple so imporant for RSS then? I mean you can do your good work without the temple as well.
RSS: No! That's the epitome of Hindu devotion to Ram. We have to build that temple... [blah blah blah]
You: But that will cause riots, as it already has. And causing riots should not be the aim for such a good organization like you.
RSS: No. The Musilims should vacate the masjid peacefully - it was ours. The foreigners came and broke the temple - the statues are still liying inside - you can go see them for yourself.
You: Did you see them?
RSS: No! But everyone knows. It's common knowledge.
You: Ok, so who built the mosque?
RSS: [Now, the guy gets confused! Exepect anything from Akbar, Jahangir, Aurangzed, Mohammed, Salman, Pathan, Irfan, etc]
You: Oh, great! You know a lot of history!
RSS: Yes! The Muslims should give us that land back - it is holy for us, it is the birthplace of Ram. The Muslim rulers have destroyed so many temples. Now we shall take them back. They should vacate them peacefully or else we shall have to snatch them. We dont want fights/riots but they should not force us! [blah blah blah...]
You: But hey! I thought you were a social organization. Not some Temple Building Authority. I'm confused! And why are you worried about temples of all things. Go work for the poor and downtrodden.
RSS: No! But Hindus have been tolerant for too long. Now the water is up to our noses....
You: Hey, hey! I thought you were a social organization - not a Hindu organization.
RSS: No! We're not a Hindu organization. We're not VHP. We're a social organization.
You: Okay, so how many Muslims are there in RSS.
RSS: [er... er....] The Imam of XYZ, the Jamam of ABC, etc. etc.
You: Okay, so when did they come in RSS?
RSS: Very recently. Didn't you read the news?
You: I thought so. Muslims joining RSS should make news!!

[I could go on an on.... but basically I think you got the point. Within moments the "do-gooder" attitude goes to the dogs - all that's left is the Hindutva crap - more on that in the next episode]