Another Holi came and just went by.... just like that. And as usual I got up at 11:30 AM - had my breakfast and went on with my day.
What's the big deal with this festival - I mean is it even a festival? More of a public nuisance actually! Any random stranger can put chemicals fit to cause skin cancer and shout "Bura na maano holi hai!" and expect to get away with it!
Bloody bugger, buraa kaise na manein, you've ruined my clothes and I'll have to spend an hour in the bathroom trying to scrub off this dye that you've poured on my face - and the sweeper will have to scrub the bathroom to get rid of the spots of green, blue and fuschia the next morning... And you want me not to feel buraa about it! Screw you asshole!
And the stupid brats poised precariously on their balconies with those balloons full of colour. Ready to hit any passer by from high above and shout "Holi hai" - bloody assholes. Get a life man!
All that is avoidable. I mean if you get up at noon - the holi mania is almost over and everybody's mom is shouting "Rahul andar aa jao ab - nahin to paani chala jaayega". And the city's water consumption goes up to triple the average consumption and the harmful chemicals in the the wastewater go up by about the same amount.
So basically you can very easily save youself from the (un)holi ordeal - but no one - abso-fucking-lutely no one can save himself (or herself, to please all those feminists) - from the ordeal that takes place on all the freaking chauraahas of the country.
Every freaking chauraaha (crossroad) that you might conceive of, will have a freaking ton of freshly cut wood to burn. "Bhai Holika jalaayenge" Well, it's okay if one god damn Holikaa is burnt in one locality/colony - but it's more like every bloody house has to burn its own freaking Holikaa right on the road in front of it.
It's infuriating! (New word - checked out in the dictionary :-D ) It's bloody annoying! So much wood wasted - for baking stupid chana & ganna.
It should be banned!! And that much of wood left burning overnight screws up the spot on the road where its burnt. The next morning - BANG - there's a big pothole there right in the midddle of the road - thanks to the Holika that was burnt the last night. Who the fuck needs corrupt government official to screw this country. We're doing it ourselves!
Why can't people realize that when they're cutting trees - it's not their own bloody property that they're cutting - it's public property. It's a tree that someone planted 30-35 years ago - that you're cutting. When you plant your own tree - you can cut it after 35 years and bloody burn your Holikaa for 35 more days - I don't fucking care.
But don't you burn Holikaa on every fucking chaurahaa of the city from the very few trees that are left. We can't afford to lose the precious few trees, we can't afford to have the added pollution and we can't fucking afford to have more potholes on the roads!!
Why target only Holi then? I hope you don't mind strangers offering you sweets (which may cause food poisoning, and may be death too...) on Diwali, or strangers offering gifts on Christmas, or on any other fest. Diwali crackers cause much more nuisance, sound and air pollution. Most of the hollikas don't use fresh wood, only dry left out ones. I agree that its not worth putting up a hollika on every crossing. And yes, I didn't quite understand how does burning of woods cause potholes on the road !!I thought it just causes a black spot around there. May be you dreamt about it while sleeping on the holi day ;)
ReplyDeleteHoli is not just about spraying harmful chemicals/colors on others. It's a festival, which depicts a sense of equality in the society, love and reaching out to the friends, foes and unknowns. It's a matter of personnal choice. Somebody may just like looking great(and sitting) in a 5K dress on diwali, and hate wearing old clothes or wandering around in dirty outfits.
Here is an advice, next time, on Diwali, sleep at 5pm in the evening, get up at 1 am, and then write a similar blog on diwali. Or if your are in Spain on the day of tomato fighting ritual, again sleep and write about wastage of tomatoes, nuisance etc.
Potholes: Primarily Indian roads are made of Bitumen, which softens upon heating. With the holikaas being burnt throughout the night the road softens leaving a gaping pothole the very next morning or in due course of time (due to the weaking of the road).
ReplyDeleteDiwali Crackers: Yes! Diwali crackers are a menace. Diwali is the festival of lights not noise. During the festival have you noticeed the pollution levels (noise & air). Try staying in Kanpur city instead of IITK during the festival and you'll know what I'm talking about. Even the Supreme court has passed an order to curb this menace by limiting the decibel level of crackers.
Especially for Holi, the true spirit has been lost and the festival now is just a menace! Why else would people have to explicity shout - Buraa na maano holi hai! That means the act they are doing might offend someone - and festivals are surely not to offend people!
Nandz.
haha good article there! :P
ReplyDeleteseriously, old days where Holi was awesome with soft colours, and plain water are long gone. The essence of intoxicated fun is lost now.
Frigging Holika, couldn't she have just jumped of a cliff? If they made someone jump from a cliff in every locality, atleast that would help the population. Right??
-Mairu
Anonymous: Please leave your name!!
ReplyDeleteI always enjoyed this festival a lot. have you ever enjoyed this occasion at Mathura if not then do it.
ReplyDelete