About EVS

A round of filling in with the 'corporate' details...

I'm working at Evalueserve.com Pvt. Ltd., hereinafter referred to as EVS. It's supposed to be the leader of an industry segment whose bubble has just about started to grow. And EVS claims that they're the one who began blowing the bubble in the first place. Heck! They even christened it - KPO - Knowledge Process Outsourcing... yeah, yeah, it's outsourcing alright, but not of the Business kind!

So, what the fuck is a KPO? Well, technically speaking it is a BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) outfit, in the strict sense of the term. BUT, and that's a big but, (notice - no extra 't'), the point is, almost anyone in India, specifically the Indian media, associates the word BPO with call centres. Or any other braindead job! EVS is not about receiving calls and telling the stupid caller for the frikkin' Nth time that he has to click the "Start" button to shutdown his computer :-)

Let me elaborate further. In any call center, the customer executives are given a set of questions, possible answers, and a fake accent. They use all three to answer mundane questions day-in-and-day-out! Everything is based on a rule.

KPO is different. It's a business process being outsourced alright, but the business process is not repetitive or rule based. It needs some input of knowledge. Let me give you a practical example. Try calling up your favourite call center and ask the person who answers your call to tell you the global market size of desktop printers in the year 2007. In all probability, your personal data is on the next flight out for a measly ten cents!

That's exactly the kind of job a KPO outfit does (the global market size part, not the other thing :-) It's something like offshoring the development of a software product. The team in India, China, Phillipines, whatever, needa more than a fake accent to code-up that piece of software. They need Knowledge. Domain knowledge to be specific. Only that in the case of a KPO it's not in software. It's market research, business analytics, financial analytics, data analytics, intellectual property services, and what have you.

Now, that you've got the basic idea of a KPO, let's get onto what exactly EVS does. EVS is into:

• Business Research (BR): They answer questions like "What's will be the market size of shoes in America in the year 2010?", "How many companies are there in the telecom sector in EU and what are their strengths and weaknesses?", etc.
  
• Intellectual Property Services (IP): They answer stuff like, "Here's a list of 500 patents that my company owns. Tell me which ones have the highest outlicensing potential.", "Here's what I think is a neat new invention. Please write me a patent application for it.", "Help! M$ has sued me for patent infringement. Please find prior art for M$'s patent so that I may get it invalidated and get my ass out of this hot soup!", etc.
  
• Market Research (MR): They're the BPO in the KPO :-) These guys don't answer questions. They ask. They sit in the office all round the night, call up people in US, EU, etc., and pester them to answer long questionnaires :-)
  
• Financial & Data Analytics (FADA): There's not much work at EVS in this department, that I know of. They're given lots of data and they're supposed to analze it :-P
  

I work in the IP department. I've written a patent application, done some prior art searches, assessed a few inventions for patentability, tried to invalidate a patent, and figured out patents with high outlicensing potential out of a given patent portfolio! Go figure :-D

Fotoblog ahoy!

Today was a 'gala' time @ office... not much work (as they say at EVS - "I was on beach") and I got hold of a digicam!



That's my office, neat and tidy, until you have a look at my desk, of course!



Corporate Modelling :-D We have a dress code @ EVS - formal trousers, formal shirt, leather belt, leather shoes, and tie! I have about eight of them - all from Big Bazaar for Rs 49 (Rupees Forty Nine) only!



It's getting cold in here! That's how I look when I'm feeling cold! I came to know recently that my cubicle's temperature is set at 23 degrees celcius! If you're wondering - the shawl's not mine - it sorta borrowed :-)




Two unsuspecting tiffins, moments before being devoured by hungry EVS employees... we have catered lunch @ RS 35 per meal and tiffins @ Rs 25 per tiffin. Lunch vendors are on a trial phase - so sometimes the catered lunch is amazing, and sometimes it's worse then Hall 1 food (which was good btw!) I stick to the tiffin - it's consistently good.

Lotsa stuff to right about working, working at a large company, corporate policies, EVS specifically - but I'm waaaay too sleepy right now!

Laterz...

It's review time folks!

Having a grih-pravesh back to my online blogging home with these easy going reviews...

Iqbal - A Story Above Cricket
After a long time has Bollywood come up with a movie which makes you smile, laugh, and cry - all at the same time. This movie is simply amazing (A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, in case you missed it!) With Nagesh Kuknoor (of Rockfor and Hyderabad Blues fame), Naseeruddin Shah, Girish Karnad, et al it's bound to be good.

Right from the first scene till the last, this movie keeps you glued to your seat, sharing the journey of Iqbal - a deaf and mute boy, the fact which is easily lost within five minutes of the movie - sharing his dreams of playing professional cricket for the nation, sharing his failures, his joys, and his sadness.

Don't skip this movie if you think that it'll be serious and the rona-dhona types just because it's about the struggles of a deaf and mute boy. If that's exactly what you're thinking, then for a minute imagine you're playing cricket and for some odd reason your captain has actually sent you in to bat! So you're on the pitch, all padded up, standing with your bat about a foot away from the pad. The bowler bowls a yocker right between that 'hole' and you come back to the pavilion even before the Maggi noodles are ready. So you're imagining it - right? Yes - so my point is, that the bat is what you're thinking about Iqbal, and the pad is what the movie actually is - and as Siddhu would put it - "The gap between bat and pad is so much that I would have driven a car through it..."

So you get the point!

The music is simply amazing - especially the "Aashayein" song... the melody, lyrics, timing, everthing about the song is amazing.

Shreyas Talpade, the boy who played Iqbal, and the little girl who's played his sister, both, have done an amazing job! Not to forget the female who's played the role of Iqbal's mother.

Net-net (new lingo that I recently learnt :-) everyone has done an excellent job. No overplaying, no underplaying, no excessive rona-dhona, no majboor-lachaar praanis - just feel good!

Nagesh Kukunoor has proved it again - and has succeeded in keeping Subhas Ghai away from direction.

And you love the fact that the movie gets over in a little more than two hours without the elaborate song and dance sequences. Which reminds me - the SC (that's the shortie for the Supreme Court, you idiot!) has recently passed an order asking Ketan Mehta and team to stop the screening of Mangal Pandey cuz his (Mr. Mangal's) descendents feel bad about the fact that their dada-pardaada may have had a relationship with a prostitute! Bah!

Back to Blogosphere...

Hola... me's back! Finally got my computer up and working - needed a new RAM. The older RAM got busted and has gone for a replacement. Got myself hooked onto the wired world with Reliance Freedom Plan - Rs 650 for a month and 1GB download limit. The speed is pretty decent for regular surfing + chatting.

Expect some rockin' posts in the coming few days!

That's it for now... keep visiting!

Nandz.

More blogs coming up...

I've been two weeks into my job now. A lot of new experiences; a totally new environment - a lot to blog about. But unfortunately the only access to the internet I have is from the office, and my contract specifies that anything I create on the company's time will be owned by the company. And I don't like my stuff to be owned by anyone else.

So hang on for some interesting blogs once I get my computer up in shape. Apparently I forget to affix the screws on the hard disk before couriering it to Gurgaon. It must've moving around a lot thrashing up all the parts inside the cabinet. It booted twice once I set it up and hasn't been responding since :-(

Pray for my computer's resurrection...

Indianizing Technology

"Yeh beech waala button teen baar dabaana hai, fir yeh waale button se is cheez ko doosre number pe laana hai, fir yeh waala button tab tak dabaate raho jab tak jo channel set karna hai wo na aa jaye, fir is beech waale button ko dabaate raho jab tak menu chala na jaaye"**

WheW!! That was me teaching my maid servant how to tune channels in her TV set.

More than 85% of India's population lives in the rural areas. Of the remaining which live in the cities, a large chunk cannot read/write in English. Thus, it can be safely assumed that a HUGE consumer base (~90%) in India is not familiar with the language of the queen.

Why then, do all the consumer electronic goods have instruction manuals, remotes, online menus, etc. in English?

I realized this fact when my maid servant asked me to teach her how to tune channels in her TV set and the entire procedure mentioned above had to be repeated for Channels #1, #2 and #3 till she mastered it!

I checked out the language options on the TV and the menus were available in either English or Vietnamese! WTF? IIRC the TV was some weird brand ("Igo" or something) - but come on, Vietnamese? In place of Hindi? For a product in India?

The other tough part was the remote control. None of the button were marked in Hindi. So she has to remember them by their shape or position - "Beech waala, gol waala, side waala, oopar waala, neecha waala..." - you get the point.

With almost all the companies targeting rural markets, a serious thought should be given to remote controls with markings in both, Hindi and English, and online menus in Hindi by default (so that one doesn't have to call in the service engineer to change the language).

It was sad to explain a very literate and educated woman how to operate the TV in such a way.

PS: Just before posting this entry, I checked out my Sony Trinitron. It has a remote control with only English markings and language options for the menus are - English and Arabic!

**Translated to English - "Press this button in the center thrice, then press this button to get this thing to the second position, then keep pressing this button till you get the required channel, finally press the button in the center again to make the menu disappear" :-D

An Open Letter to Haldiram's

To,
The Customer Care Cell,
Haldiram Manufacturing Co. Pvt. Ltd,
Delhi-Jaipur Highway,
Village Kherki-Daula
Gurgaon - 122 001 (Haryana)

Sub: Haldiram Chips Paprika Flavour - A Human Rights, Economical, and Environmental Perspective

Dear Sir/Ma'am,

I would like to bring to your notice that I bought and consumed a Haldiram's Chips packet which claimed to be of the Paprika flavour. I would also like to bring to your kind notice that shortly before buying the Chips packet I had written a 1500 word end semester examination for the course SOC486 entitled "Human Rights Theory and Practice." I would also like to bring to your kind notice the extreme form of Human Rights Violation (HRV*) both these activities caused to me.

But before I delve into that aspect, I believe it is my constitutional right to bicker about the price of the packet of chips. By back of the packet calculations (literally), charging Rs 15 for 36 grams of chips means that they have costed me Rs 416 per kg. Now this is a serious violation of the rights of the Nuts and Dry Fruits Association of India (NDFAI). As the official spokesperson I would like to remind you that the NDFAI holds Patent No. 34124568 which grants it the exclusive right "To charge more than what it's worth" (TM). Infact, not only are you overcharging your customers, you are also violating international patent law and in principle are using our trademarked slogan. As all the redressal forums in India, including but not limited to, the civil courts, the criminal courts, and the conusmer court, are ineffective; for this grave violation of the law I curse you that may your soul go to hell!

Coming back to the Human Rights perspective, I claim a compensation of US $4,32,45,109 for HRV under Art. 13 and Art. 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR).

Article 13: Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each state.
This infact is a pre-emptive claim, much like the pre-emptive strikes the world powers are indulging in nowadays. I am sure, and infact certain, that by consuming the aforementioned Paprika Chips I will suffer from gastronomical disorders which shall severly limit my freedom of movement. And as a double blow to my Human Rights, my state of mind shall be forcefully transformed from mildly erratic to that of the state of duress, thus violating my right to residence within the borders of each state.

Article 19: Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression...
By consuming the Paprika Chips I feel my right to freedom if opinion & expression has been severly violated. All I can think of, opine about, and express is that horrible taste in my mouth and the sheer amount of money I had to spend to buy that wretched packet of chips. I am neither able to hold any particular opinion about or express my thoughts about the things that are of dear interest to me (which almost always is the opposite sex, but that is a different matter altogether).

Also, as a (much absent) student of Environmenal Engineering and Psychology, I claim that by forcefully packaging an utterly brainless "game" of Free Rumble Tumble with the chips made out of non-biodegradeable plastic you are

(i) Causing a widespread lowering of IQs of the youth of the nation. This has now assumed almost epidemic proportions, with other chips manufacturing companies being hit by similar diseases (albeit with different strains of mindless games).
(ii) Causing unnecessary environmental damage by releasing toxic plastics into the environment. As a free first counsel, I would suggest a Life Cycle Assessment (LCA) and Environmental Impact Analysis (EIA) of you product to lessen this adverse environmental impact. Contact me at 555-4523 for further consultancy (I usually charge $3000 an hour).

Having said all that, I am now truly convinced that your product Haldirams Chips Paprika flavour is not merely a Fast Moving Consumed Good. It is an extremely well camouflaged WMD with far reaching effects on HRV, economies of various nations, psychological and environmental impact.

Hence, I would request Mr. George W. Bush to please "Smoke 'em Out" (TM). Each one of them, Bloody Haldirams Chips Paprika Flavour! FREEDOM AND GLORY TO ALL! LONG LIVE THE LAND OF THE FREE! HAIL AMERICA!!

Thank you,

Sincerely yours,

Saurabh Nanda.

Post #2 for the day :-)

To Open Source Or Not

Started off with a new team blog called SharpBang - hoping to see some good techno-legal discussions there.

Masculinity v/s Feminity

I got this thought during our departmental (Civil Engineering) farewell. After the regulars - mimicry of professors, distribution of mementos and awarding of titles, there was something really very unique. We had an actual, live mujraa!! Yes, and don't just think it was any other ordinary mujraa - it was performed by a boy! (Ed: This is your cue for a hysterical WHAT?!!!!)

Yes, an actual guy, second year Civil Engineering student, performed a mujraa on the stage (in front of all the professors) in full mujraa attire. He had a nude coloured lehenga and
choli, with his midriff showing :-p Y'know it's not a good sight - the thick line of coarse hair between the waistline and the navel - Yecch! And his face covered with a chunni. It was some song from the movie Umraao Jaan.

Anyways, apart from being rather amusing and funny, it made me think - why exactly is this amusing and funny? If a girl would've performed a mujraa we would've been worse than dogs salivating for a chewy bone. Well, in case we were not the IITian breed we would've apreciated the art form.

A sensous dance by a woman, is perceived to be feminine. A woman can express her feminity with a dance, with the way she walks, by crying, by being sensitive, by motherhood, by N number of ways.

How can a man express his masculinity? What's the first thing that comes to your mind? Big muscles? Agression? Fist fights? Is that masculinity? Can there be anything a man does which causes people to say "He's so masculine"?

A woman being feminine suddenly conjures up the image of a delicate female in your mind (atleast in my mind :-) - but what about a masculine man? Atleast my mind goes blank.

What comes to yours?

PS: We eventually made that guy take of the chunni and give his introduction. And yes, the mujraa was truly amazing - probably better than what a girl could've done!

Of Projects, Report and Presentations!

After three consecutive nightouts, interspersed with a few hours of sleep and 81 pages of typing and formatting, I have finally concluded with concrete evidence that Reports (with the capital R) are an utter waste of time, energy and resources.

This particular Report in question was of the BTP variety. Which, for the uninitiated are truly very important. There won't be many reports one writes where the title page says "A Project Report Submitted in Partial Fulfilment of the Requirements for the Degree of Bachelor of Technology by..." :-)

Anyways, so I was talking about the uselessness of reports. I mean 80 freaking pages - even we (my BTP partner and me) did not proof read it a second time! How can I expect anyone else to read it! I think they should just stick to presentations and a short writeup on the project limited to a maximum of 5 pages.

I think is a big conspiracy orchestrated by the honchos in the paper industry. They've probably got the Directors & HODs of all the reputed institutions on their boards. All of them force the students to submit lengthy reports for "Partial Fulfilment of the Requirements" of their degrees! And the lesser known institutes just follow suit. So there you have it - this entire thing about the paper consumption of this world. It's a conspiracy by the paper companies to create larger and larger markets. Why else would we have to submit three hard copies?! I mean one hard copy and a soft copy! No one reads it anyway!

Bah - forget it!

Accidently, we did the right thing while writing the report in MS Word (yes, I had to use an M$ product!). And that right thing saved us a helluva lot of trouble while creating the Table of Contents, List of Figures and List of Tables. I checked out those features in Openoffice.org and voila - they were there! I was planning to write a tutorial on that with lots of screen shots but couldn't find a good free image hosting service (Bloggerbot/Hello/Picasa works only for Windows :-( ). So the tutorial has been postponed till anyone can tell me a good free image hosting service